Security Guards......... Give You Hell

Okay. I'll get straight to the point. There was this bigshot security guard at MJC- he let us in once, but when we tried to go in again (for a quite-reasonable-and-quite-valid-reason-which-is-retrieving-a-bottle-left-in-the-toilet-by-peixuan), spying us in the distance, he reared up, puffed out his chest, and gave a breathtaking, awesome spech, which consisted of:



blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah....move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!
move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!
move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!
move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!move!
MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!
MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!
MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!
MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!MOVE!

and...MOVE! GET OUT! MOVE FASTER!

so. we moved. screw him anyway. i mean, who dares to mess around a security guard who works near the cerebral palsey centre ---------- wait. for all you know, he might even be a retarded escapee....... pity the mj kids.

so anyway there was this other guard at our own very beloved drboon dominated school which is ahs. so there was also this extremely handsome and talented young (monkey) by the name of terence who decided to play his inuyasha song at our concourse piano for the 5743985743895347862439785th time. getting really sick of it already.

anyway emmaus decided to try out his bodybuilding skills and gave a shove that sent him crashing to the floor with the chair making this helluva noise. so everyone shrug it off until this extremely cool guy in our all-so-familiar security guard uniform came over and shouted at us for 'making a lot of noise' and 'spoiling the piano'. wad a genius.

and then his next words were so stunning and amazing to me that i almost died hearing them.

'OI CANNOT PLAY DONT PLAY LAH! DONT SPOIL THE PIANO!'

well if you know us.. anyway. lets give you a piece of our mind..

^%$#$%%&$%&^%#%^@**%#$%@^#$!@$^#&%^$%*^^%$^&$#%@!#@$^%#&^%$%^&%$*%^#$^@#%@^$#$&%$&^%*&$&^#$@#!%#$%%^&##$^@%$*^$%&#^%*#%&^%@#%!$@$%^&*^%$#@%^&%&%#%#@#$!#%#&%$*^&%^$#$%@#!@@^^%$&%^*^%*^#$^@#@#%@#$@!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dont you just love these guys.

YOURS GL-LY, EMMAUS and JESSE.

Further Guai-Lan-Ing

in choir we learnt a song.
it goes smth like this..

the mountain in labor - bob chilcott

(big chim sounding piano chords that qianyu always play wrong)

(piano part in tribute to the late michael jackson)

a mountain was once greatly agitated
loud groans and noises were heard

(change to lin jun jie style music)

and crowds of people came
and crowds of people came
from all parts to see what was the matter (back to michael jackson music)
the matter!

while they assembled
while they assembled
in anxious expectation of some terrible calamity

(act cute music which qianyu always rushes)

out came E-MOUSE! (guess who. lol)

(back to michael jackson music)

HA HA HA HA HA HA hope my xia-lan style of guai-lan-ing you has made you extremely du-lan.

YOURS MEGA-SUPER-MORE-DEN-YOU-CAN-IMAGINE GUAI-LAN-LY, JESSE.
and emmaus.

btw jesse im so gna kick you on monday.

My Thoughts On The Previous Post

..........................GUAI-LAN....................................






YOURS
NOT-SO-GUAI-LAN-LY
EMMAUS
THE GUY WHO IS FEELING REALLY DULAN AND IS GOING TO XIA LAN SOMEBODY SOON.

Education On Hokkien

today's lesson is very interesting as it is not a normal lesson. it is on hokkien. more specifically, three hokkien words that seem to be misused again and again by wannabe gangsters, ppl who think they're cool, and everyday ppl just like me and you.

guai-lan, xia-lan and du-lan.

sounds familiar? hardly a day goes past without hearing these words. haaaaa.

meanings

du-lan: frustrated
xia-lan: to guai-lan in a qian-bianner method
guai-lan: wad the glkias do everyday

therefore as with every language skillset we have to make sentences with the following words. we shall try. in fact we shall go one better and make a short story.

today i was going to school and feeling extremely du-lan because i had not finished any homework. also, i had to see my extremely guai-lan teacher. just then, i realised that my shirt was too tight and it was making me uncomfortable. just as i was getting accustomed to it, a boy named emmaus walked up to me and xia-laned me because my shirt was too tight. 'ha ha stupid noob!' and he ran away before i could do anything.

lets try again

'ur just a stupid retard! cant u see that 3+3=7!?' my teacher guai-laned me. i was bursting with anger, but i managed to control it. just then, my friend farted loudly. before anyone could react, he said, 'IT WAS EMMAUS!' and pointed at me in a xia-lan fashion. i was feeling so du-lan that i reached over and pulled his ears until they were as long as a meter ruler. which is a meter long.

go and have fun making use of these words! urs GUAI-LAN-LY, JESSE.

Song Parody

Original - Love Story - Taylor Swift
Edited - Stop Stalking Me

We were both young when I ignored you
I close my eyes and remember you
Just standing there, with your spotty face and greasy hair.
I saw the sights, spent some time with my friends and
Didnt notice you were following me
Until one day, when you called my name.

Well you were Romeo, you hit me with a pebble
So my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet"
And I was crying on the staircase cause you broke my nose.

And I said,
Romeo stop stalking me, just leave me alone.
I've called the police, I would suggest that you run.
You're just a toe rag, look, I'm a Princess.
Try all you want but I'll never say yes.

So you sneak into my garden, I see you.
You kept quiet but I already knew
That you were mad, you had your hands down your pants.

So I called my dad and he came out with his machete
and he said "Stay away from Juliet"
Cause you were nothing to me, so he shot you in the toe.

And I said,
Romeo stop stalking me, just leave me alone.
I've called the police, I would suggest that you run.
You're just a toe rag, look, I'm a Princess.
Try all you want but I'll never say yes.

I got tired of waiting,
wondering which corner you'd be coming around.
I called for a restraining
order so you couldnt even be in my town.

And I said,
Romeo piss off, yes I know that youre alone.
I've been waiting for the big court case to come,
don't know what's in your head, I don't know what you think.
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said
Marry me Juliet, I know I dont have a home
But I love you and that's all I really know.
We'll run from the law, no time to pick out a dress.
So I'll stop stalking if you just say yes.
Oh oh, oh ohhhh.

I turned and called the police, and i ignored you.

JESSE =)

I'm NOT Procrastinating!

Procrastination - one of the greatest sins that men commit everyday of their lives. Before I go into a detailed explanation of how and why procrastination can affect one's life and so on and so forth... I will have to explain what procrastination is.

To start things off, procrastination is a habit which..............ahh nvm. Later.



Emmaus.

Random Quotes

"FOR RENT: CONDOM... ONLY US$650."
- Ad in Jakarta Post, should have read Condo

"We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather."
- Arab News report

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
- Barbara Boxer, Senator

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets."
- British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea.

"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
- Budapest Zoo sign

"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
- Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

"We are trying to change the 1974 Constitution, whenever that was passed."
- Donald Kennard, Louisiana state representative

"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost."
- Frank Bruno, Boxer

"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

"FIRST, CARRY TO FIRE."
- Instructions on a fire extinguisher

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad."
- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player

"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
- Mariah Carey, Pop Singer

"If people get a kick out of running down pedestrians, you have to let them do it."
- Paul Jacobs, marketing director for a video game company

"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"Permitted vehicles not allowed."
- Road sign on US 27

"SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt - prepare for accident."
- Sign on backseat of Taxi

"This Is The Gate Of Heaven, Enter Ye All By This Door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)
- Sign on church door

"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect."
- Ted Lowe

"We didn't lose, we weren't beaten, we just came in second."
- U.S. commentators, after Canadian Donavon Bailey won the 100 metre gold medal at the 1996 Olympics

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Predictions are difficult, especially about the future."
- Yogi Berra, Baseball player

hope you had fun reading. lol.

JESSE.

Find The Hidden Message

akwehfgdskzjfgpawefiohxzvcuilgwkeanbfkaewjfYOUaeweawfiohsdkjzlfhlkjahaleuwhflaweuhfaelnveawrkuhlzk
djlsakhfveluihfaaulefhaewjfhkalwjefhljwkaefhjwlakehfHAVEfawekljfhawejklhfaguqweuryhzzaekljfhqwperadsfi
xcvkjWASTEDxclyviiufopeawpiofuaweofadjkfhkjlxzhdfoladifsadfkjlcxhfqweposergaewfawefvbnrsey
riuPRECIOUSaelfretgsergaesrgaewfsdhkjdhfzeaaewkjrgzfgioyerqouryszdopifuzlxkjhgodfadsfzasdfzxc
iaeljkfhwarafopdsfdgsdfkjhTIMEahksdfghjdzsfzudifyeiouadsfxjxkcvjklzxcvhaewraewgfdzgzxcg
ryeaopwifydslkjfhkjlfhadlskfhxklhzlxjkchqwerlHAHAhksrezcxvjieahjekwaaewfzdfgzfxgzdsvcxberqwer

teehee. JESSE.

Decode - srUcnbmlea hTe teLetsr

katnh oyu rfo staiwgn oyru mite








heehee. EMMAUS

Guessing Game!

JESSE says:
jason just admitted some interesting stuff
EMMAUS says:
really?
EMMAUS says:
that?
JESSE says:
he
JESSE says:
likes
EMMAUS says:
to lynn?
JESSE says:
no
JESSE says:
no
JESSE says:
ud be freaking shocked
EMMAUS says:
denise
EMMAUS says:
boo
JESSE says:
no
JESSE says:
more
JESSE says:
shocking
EMMAUS says:
belinda
EMMAUS says:
tianjiao
EMMAUS says:
himself
EMMAUS says:
me
EMMAUS says:
you
JESSE says:
no
JESSE says:
all
JESSE says:
wrong
JESSE says:
guess further
EMMAUS says:
okay
EMMAUS says:
hilary
JESSE says:
no
EMMAUS says:
manjing
JESSE says:
no
JESSE says:
NOT JUNIOR
EMMAUS says:
fedora
EMMAUS says:
okay
EMMAUS says:
give hint
JESSE says:
that was a hint
JESSE says:
u guessed all juniors.
EMMAUS says:
senior?
EMMAUS says:
or same lvl
JESSE says:
erm.
JESSE says:
use brain
EMMAUS says:
okayy
EMMAUS says:
cherlene
JESSE says:
no
JESSE says:
-.-
EMMAUS says:
hmm
EMMAUS says:
yingjun
JESSE says:
closer
JESSE says:
no
EMMAUS says:
*censored*
EMMAUS says:
*dont tell you*
JESSE says:
well done
EMMAUS says:
*guess yourself*
EMMAUS says:
*unknown*
EMMAUS says:
knew it
EMMAUS says:
ahha
JESSE says:
saving convo
EMMAUS says:
k

OK GO PLAY.

JESSE and EMMAUS. duh

Choir Rules

here are some rules for the choir set by christopher.

this post was actually posted 3 weeks ago but now i transfer it here. for the benefit of my readers.. *puts on the christopher face and voice* (but not his size. teehee)

rule no 1 - latecoming is STRICTLY CANNOTCANNOT NO GOOD. those found latecoming will have a choice of either running around the parade square for 20 rounds or singing the la la la la part of miao jia right outside the general office loudly.

rule no 2 - no handphone games allowed. those caught playing handphone games during combined will be punished by giving terence your phone for one hour. if terence is found playing games, his phone will be given to the toilet bowl for one hour.

rule no 3 - no talking during combines. those found talking will be fined x dollars, where x equals the number of letters spoken. e.g. someone found saying 'i think this is boring' will be fined 18 dollars. vulgarities follow the same rule, just that the fine will be squared.

rule no 4 - no doing of homework during combines. those caught doing their homework during such moments will be punished by having to do a 1500 word essay on why one should not do homework during combines, followed by having to spell the word 'sorry' with his butt in front of the whole choir. brings a whole new meaning to 'sorry seems to be the hardest word'.

rule no 5 - everyone is to have their scores AT ALL TIMES. even when going to the toilet or canteen. those found without their scores will be punished by having to copy their scores 3 times on pieces of blank a4 paper provided by themselves. if christopher is displeased with the ledger lines drawn he will fine you an amount he deems reasonable, which comes to around 20 dollars.

rule no 6 - there is to be strictly NO LAUGHTER. people caught laughing will have to laugh in front of an empty toilet cubicle for 15 minutes while being filmed by a camera. the resulting video will be posted on youtube.

wahahahaha. chris evil laughter.

good luck in choir from now on!

JESSE.

EDIT: SUSPECTING VICTIM

ok due to some er. problems i have decided to take the post Unsuspecting Victim off my blog due to some fears of jason ramboing me after he reads it. therefore i have picked on a suspecting victim. one of the ways to win an argument is persuasion. therefore a suspecting victim -

JESSE says:
noob.
ANQI says:
u are tryin to make me break my vow
ANQI says:
and u succeeded
ANQI says:
-.-
JESSE says:
of course
JESSE says:
ur too noob.
ANQI says:
IRRITATING
JESSE says:
ya too noob.
ANQI says:
edv
ANQI says:
wdv*
JESSE says:
yah noob.
ANQI says:
-.-
JESSE says:
just too noob.
JESSE says:
see nth to say noob.
ANQI says:
why no lynn to kajiao now come kajiao me ar
JESSE says:
no.
JESSE says:
i just found u to be too noob
JESSE says:
hah cant even write msg properly noob
JESSE says:
take so long to type a message
JESSE says:
just a noob
ANQI says:
reaction a) scream my ass off at you
reaction b) pretend to be zen
reaction c) ignore
reaction d) agree to everything you say
reaction e) typing this reactions
ANQI says:
choose
ANQI says:
which one make u happy then can leave me alone
JESSE says:
reaction d lah noob.
JESSE says:
say ur a noob
JESSE says:
just a noob.
ANQI says:
UR A NOOB
ANQI says:
JUST A NOOB
JESSE says:
anqi is a noob.
ANQI says:
YAY JESSE IS A NOOB
JESSE says:
u didnt put fullstop
JESSE says:
stupid noob.
ANQI says:
ok now quit bothering me
ANQI says:
SO WHAT NOOB
JESSE says:
not good lah noob
JESSE says:
den wad
JESSE says:
still ask stupid questions
JESSE says:
just a noob
ANQI says:
wad not good
ANQI says:
who are u to define wads good and not good
JESSE says:
is just not good
ANQI says:
U KNOW WAD
JESSE says:
ur a noob?
ANQI says:
LETS TRASH IT OUT IN A GAME OF UNO
ANQI says:
muahaha
ANQI says:
-.-
JESSE says:
thats for noobs
ANQI says:
for u lor
JESSE says:
ok lah dont argue le lah noob
JESSE says:
give you chace
JESSE says:
chance
JESSE says:
scared you cry noob
JESSE says:
bb noob.

noob power ftw!

note: if you really want to read the post Unsuspecting Victim please contact me on hp or email. ty!

If You Ever Consider Asking Us About Homework...............

FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
eh pig
FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
u update le ma?
EMMAUS says:
yes pig?
EMMAUS says:
nah
EMMAUS says:
not yet
EMMAUS says:
just now do heymath
FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
rawr
FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
tsk
FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
fake yong gong
FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
u got rmb de question and de ans?
EMMAUS says:
i did
EMMAUS says:
just that
FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
TELL ME!!!
FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
pwweeeeaaaassse
EMMAUS says:
havent finish my sentence yet
EMMAUS says:
just that i forgot it the moment you asked=)
FISHY! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (: ADAM LAMBERT<3>
idiot
EMMAUS says:
too bad
EMMAUS says:
i accidently forgot on purpose the moment you asked
EMMAUS says:
so
EMMAUS says:
go do it yourself
EMMAUS says:
=)


think again.

DONT READ THIS!

ok as you can see from the post title you ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO READ THIS. therefore if youre reading this you are incapable of following instructions, and should just go and die. if you really go and kill yourself its your own fault for reading this since i told you not to read it. therefore first lesson today is to follow instructions.

as you have decided to read this, you shall have to put up with some random stuff. as our blog is called random stuff, it is only natural that there is only random stuff on this blog. therefore we shall post some random stuff as it is definitely random stuff. random stuff is defined as stuff which is random. therefore you are now reading authentic random stuff. which is totally random stuff. im proud to announce that you have gone through one para of random stuff.

but there is 2 more to come. first one.

random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff random stuff.

second one.

more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff and more random stuff.

ok as im feeling generous today ill give you one more paragraph.

even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff and even more random stuff.

after reading all that random stuff, do you regret coming to our blog now? thats for not listening to instructions. did you know that you could have just scrolled down to the end of the post? but you didnt. its ok. as usual at the end of each lecture i have two points to get across to you.

1. EVERYONE WHO HAS GOT HERE IS A STUPID RETARD.

2. DONT WORRY, YOURE NOT THE ONLY ONE =)

JESSE.